My truth. My life.

The rusty truth


It was a small box.

One that I had seen many times before.

Until today, I had never been allowed to

look at the box for more than a moment.

Touching it was never an option.

The doctor had called me into the room to let me know

that it was time.

Goodbyes were ready to be heard, then they would be forgotten.

Although we shared the same blood, our tolerance for each other no longer existed.

I reached over and laid my hand on the top of hers.

I was hoping that was enough to let her know that I was there.

It took a moment for her to muster up a whisper.

“Place the box in my hand.”

It was a muted yet proud order.

I took my time crossing the room so that I could examine the

unique characteristics of the box.

It was a rusty color with a golden symbol on the top.

I placed the box in her hand, carefully.

She looked at me and whispered

“You are never to know what is in this box.”

With that statement, she took her last breath.

For what seemed like hours I sat and stared at her

pale lifeless hands still gripping the box.

It was time.

As I reached out to pry the box from her cold fingers,

I felt a wave of nausea overcome me

yet I managed to retrieve the box anyway.

Worried about what I was about to find, I sat down on the chair and

took a calming breath.

As I lifted the top, my throat closed even tighter.

I could not believe what I was looking at.

How could she have hidden this from me for my entire life?

I felt the box slide from my fingers and hit the floor with a thump.

I left the room in a hurry and told the doctor I was leaving.

She had died today, and she had taken my soul with her.


This was written for : Trifecta

This week’s word is:

1: affected by or as if by rust; especially : stiff with or as if with rust
2: inept and slow through lack of practice or old age
3a : of the color rust

b : dulled in color or appearance by age and use
4: outmoded
5: hoarse, grating

Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
The word itself needs to be included in your response.
You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.
Only one entry per writer.
If your post doesn’t meet our requirements, please leave your link in the comments section, not in the linkz.
Trifecta is open to everyone. Please join us.


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50 thoughts on “The rusty truth

  1. nooooooooooooooooooo – don’t leave me hanginig . . . *I* want to know what’s in the box!!! 🙂

  2. Fantastic ending! Loved it all.

  3. angelgal3176 on said:

    Wow. Just….wow. Yeah, I want to know what’s in the box, but it’s almost better not to, I think….o.O

  4. Now, I am curious. 🙂 I am torn between calling the deceased’s act as kindness or meanness. However, I am certain about this – curiosity kills. 🙂

  5. Oooooooooooooh…
    That was gooooooooood!

  6. A fun read. Hope to read more of this one.

  7. The mystery is still in the box! I like how you have constructed this little tale.

  8. Like others …. I want to know what is in the box…you need to do a part 2 Diane

  9. Oh excellent job leaving me imagining all kinds of things in that box. Great writing, Deana!

  10. Fantastic! Love that you left the ending open, like the box. ha!

  11. Oh no, oh no, that’ can’t be the end!! I read it twice or thrice to find clues, but I have no clue what could be in the box! Yes, a second part would make me very happy indeed…

  12. Oh Deana, you can’t simply do this to us 🙂 We must know what is in the box.excellent writing my dear 🙂

  13. jwilliams057 on said:

    Well that is just all kinds of unfair.

  14. You aren’t very nice, Deana! I can’t believe we didn’t even get a hint about what soul-stealing thing was in that box 🙂 I thought the mother’s statement about her never knowing what was in the box was mean and taunting. If she were doing it to protect the daughter, I’d expect her to never have the box in view in the first place.

  15. This is a masterful sketch of the depths to which, sadly, family members hurt each other! This left me breathless!

  16. that was terrific and rotten – all in the same breath 😉

  17. Well done. You had us going on two counts – would she open the box (I would), and what was in it. At least you gave us the answer to one! Well-played.

  18. I think you are cruel. Come on. Just a hint? Anyway, well done piece of suspense writing.

  19. Terrific build-up to a fabulous ending!

  20. Great piece… love that we never got to know what’s in the box

  21. This is great! I love the mystery, the rawness, the mean old lady who isn’t softened by death. But, what is in the box?? I usually love open-ended stories, but for some reason I really want to know! I thought maybe it had to do with bloodlines or adoption, but that doesn’t seem it.
    Part 2 please!

  22. Hmm…what was it?!?!? You hooked me

  23. This is fun! I definitely think it needs a sequel. You’ve set up a bunch of questions (what’s in the box, of course – but also, what’s behind that relationship? how come their “tolerance for each other” has ended?) and it would be great for the story to eventually lead us to an answer.

  24. Brilliant. If I never find out, it will be ok, I will let this stand alone.
    After all you’ve shared a lot just within THIS. Thank you!

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