MY THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT ARE AS FOLLOWS

My truth. My life.

Follow your instinct

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One look at him and my instinct said to run.  He had deep blue eyes and a killer smile.  A brilliant combination, but not one that I needed to become involved with.

I sat down at the table next to him and I saw him notice me.  He smiled, I smiled and turned my head back to the drink menu.  I was hoping that if I didn’t look directly at him he would turn his attention elsewhere.

After the waitress took my order, I heard the chair shuffle at the table behind me.  Before I knew what was happening he sat down beside me.

“Are you meeting someone?”  He smiled at me like he knew the answer.

“No, I came here to have some alone time.  So, If you don’t mind.”  I answered back to him, and motioned with my hand for him to leave.  This notion amused him.

“What if I told you that my name is Alone?  So when you said you came here for alone time, that meant you came here to be with me.” He grinned even bigger.

“I would say that is the worst pick up line I have ever heard.  Now if you will please excuse me, I have to leave now.  You can take care of my check.”

The next day started like any other.  Wake up, gym then off to work.  The Atlanta sheriff’s department was quiet this morning, so I went straight to my office.  Being a detective was a dream I have had since I was a little girl.  I was good at it.  I inhaled my bagel and thought briefly of the man I met last night.  He was handsome in a sexy kind of way, but my gut said no.  When my gut said no, my mind says no.  I have always been right when it came to those sort of things.  I grinned knowing that even though I would never be with him, he could still help me in the imagination department.

“Morning Shane.” my partner shouted at me snapping me back to reality.

“Morning Chris, anything new this morning?”  I answered quickly hoping that he didn’t catch me daydreaming.  I wanted to keep my tough image intact.

” A few interesting faxes came over from New York.  Other than that, not much. Quiet morning.”

I refilled my coffee and decided against adding cream or sugar.  The stronger the better.  settling into my desk I grabbed the faxes and started looking through.  When I came to the 3rd page I felt my energy completely drain.  I couldn’t believe what I was looking at.  This man, wanted for the rape and murder of 5 female detectives ranging from NY to Philly, was the guy.  I sat back in my chair and tried not to think about what could have happened if I would have stayed a little longer.  I closed my eyes hoping to catch my breath.  All I could see, were those blue eyes staring back at me.

*******************************************************************************

Thanks to Sunday Scribblings for giving us the prompt word of Instinct.

Sunday2

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50 thoughts on “Follow your instinct

  1. I like the sinister beginning a lot. The pick-up dialogue is great, as well, especially the actions between.
    Not that it matters, but I paused when I read “Shane.” It works for a woman, but would also be rad if the narrator were a man. 🙂

  2. Love the dark elements. Of course you had to use your boyfriend’s eyes.

  3. So if he was stalking police detectives, why did he let her get away so easily?
    And is he actually the perp, or is it a red herring to throw us off from the start?

    I must know!!!!

    • I already have most of the story written in my head. This is one of been working on for a while now. All I can say is expect the unexpected. I’m so glad you liked it.

  4. Nice start to a longer piece. Will there be more?

  5. Well done. This could be a novel.

  6. Suggested ending: she is the killer; the guy is a private detective hired by the victims’ families to dig up the evidence needed to convict her.
    P S I didn’t say you had to use it. 🙂

  7. Nice story! I enjoyed this from beginning to end. Or this part of the end. In hopes that there is more before the very end.
    I’ll end now. 😉

  8. Aka Teraka on said:

    A real killer story – pun intended 🙂

  9. Intensely well written, one had a sense of foreboding that proved to be very much on target, frighteningly so. And then we think about how often such scenarios are not fiction, but horrifically true. You did a wonderful job of creating a street-smart character who somehow knew better than to fall into the trap. Great job!

  10. I love the story line, and it would make a great beginning chapter of a book! You have a great gift to tell tales! God bless!

  11. Hi Bo–Very well done–had me hooked and gobbling up those words to see what was going to happen next–nice twist there too, with her being a detective and all. So, what’s next? 🙂 Thank you very much for your visit!

  12. Old Blue eyes Grizz with the killer smile wonders when we can meet for coffee…this was intense and had to lead somewhere…it does have the beginnings of a good thriller…hey why not make him a blogger? We need a little publicity.

  13. Loved the blunt dialogue with ‘Alone’ so typically female 🙂 Yes this is the beginning of your Novel and interested to see where it leads you and us 🙂

  14. Clearly you have us all hooked. Whether he reappears as a principal character or the story continues around her I want more; it is delicious.

  15. Dodge a bullet with that one. Now, she needs to put her detective skills to work and catch the guy. I hope we see more of this story.

  16. That was creepy. Too bad she didn’t get the fax the morning she went out. Maybe she could try and set him up that night.

  17. I was hooked from the beginning. If there is more, can we have it please? 🙂

  18. She was right to trust her instincts then. I just hope she can find him again and do her job.

  19. Great story, begs to be developed into something more. I just discovered Sunday Scribblings, so I am visiting the blogs of other participants. I look forward to exploring yours more. Thanks for sharing your talents with us.

  20. Deana, YES. Talk about good instinct. Mine were always sharper living in big cities, especially when I was living alone. This also speaks to how lazy Americans have become at actually getting to know one another before sneaking off to a dark corner. And that would’ve been the darkest – and last = corner she ever saw.

    Thrilling story, and it’s too true. Brill! Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/03/11/goosebumps/

  21. Pingback: Follow your instinct pt 2 | MY THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT ARE AS FOLLOWS

  22. Pingback: Follow your instinct pt 3 | MY THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT ARE AS FOLLOWS

  23. Damn go get him girl.. I’m right behind you…

  24. Im loving the beginning. 🙂

  25. Good for her. Now, I have to catch up with the next installment. I found the third installment first and happily had the good sense to postpone reading it before I read the first part. Wise, no? 😉

  26. Pingback: Follow your instinct pt 4 | MY THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT ARE AS FOLLOWS

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