My truth. My life.

As a child

Relief came to him as he realized

he had his mother’s traits.

She was a gentle woman who

had shown a sense of right.

As a child, he would panic

when she left.


This is for Trifecta

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46 thoughts on “As a child

  1. Amazing how a completely different wonderful story came out of your poem!

  2. wow…i had to reread the page you used and this several times. But it works! you really did well with this. Love that last line.

  3. Excellent, deana. Such a varied response to this prompt. Love this.

  4. Greetings! I write to nominate you for a Versatile Blogger Award. To be honest, you don’t win a prize or medal or any such thing. Rather, this is a simple commendation from one blogger to others regarding the value of your work, and it has the potential of expanding your audience (and also, I surmise, that of others, to include the founders of VBA). To accept, use this link.
    Once there, check the VBA rules to decide whether you want to accept.

  5. La mère est la première école qui éduque l’enfant et lui apprend comment vivre dans son futur. Malheureusement beaucoup de mères ne s’occupent pas de leurs enfants ou bien elles leur apprennent une mauvaise éducation qui fera d’eux des délinquants.

  6. Deana – this is beautiful!

  7. Draug419 on said:

    This doesn’t sound like it came from the page at all (that’s a good thing!). So lovely and it all fits together so well!

  8. Beautiful story–so different from the darkness on the page. Almost hopeful.

  9. Wow, Bo! You took something so dark and gave it light and hope. I love the way you massage your words and make them work for you so exquisitely.

  10. What a lovely use of the prompt! So much beauty in your words. Love this Deana!

  11. Wow. You went in a much more optimistic direction than most, and yours reads so smoothly. Really nice job, Deana.

  12. great use of the prompt 🙂 very smooth..

  13. Most of us went for the extreme dark- you have turned it out around to a different voice that we hear – very nice Bo.

  14. Great poem with a nice flow to it.

  15. I love how these pieces are so different, reflecting a bit of the writer’s personality.

  16. Aww,that’s so beautiful-loved this different idea in your piece Deana:-)

  17. Cobbie's World on said:

    Very nice use of the words on Page #33! You have taken someone else’s words and given them back in your voice. Quite the feat, young lady! 🙂

  18. Wow! What an imaginative re-working of words. 🙂

  19. Great piece.. nice use of words ! 🙂

  20. I absolutely love this! Beautifully done…

  21. Hmmm I had wanted to work in ‘traits’. Nice poem!

  22. Nicely done, Deana! Your word choices are so good, and woven so well.

  23. Love this. You get so much story into those 33 words.

  24. Awww so sweet, and poor baby!

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