My truth. My life.

He said… She said… Post 7



Hello Friends!  Thank you for joining us yet again on this post for proving I’m right about everything the next He said/ She said.

We are having a lot of fun with this.  Are you having as much fun as we are?  If so, Please sent us some questions!

So here’s how this works…

You ask us questions.  Any questions.  I can be about love, relationships, sex , kids, life, death, and anything else.  Then, I will give you my answer (which will be correct) and Lance will give you his answer.  We are going to do 2 questions a week.  Email me your questions at or facebook me or direct message me on twitter.  We will give our original answers in the blog, then we need your participation.  I want to continue the discussion in the comment section.  Lance and I will respond to the comments as well as each other.



Today we have 1 Questioneer with 2 questions.  Kari:  You can find her here:  Twitter , Blog .  Really, if you havent read her yet, what are you waiting for.  She just wrote a great post about sex on a beach.  You know you want to read that.


Question 1: 1) How and when do you start talking to your kids about sex and relationships?

Lance:  ugh…This is awful for me to address. We are a blended family. In early spring
of 2008, I only was responsible for myself and a then 4 1/2-year-old. By the end
of the spring and early summer, I was also in charge of a 12-year-old. Bobina
and I married in November 2008, and the next thing I knew we were squirming on a
couch talking about body parts and boundaries and respecting yourself. Oh man, I
almost would have rather listened to a Nickelback demo tape. I know we started
talking to the teenager right after she turned 13, about 4 years ago. I guess
that’s the right age. Kids know more about sex, anatomy, etc than they did when
I was growing up. I was still laughing at the word boobies when I was like 15.
Ok, I still laugh at boobies. My wife started telling me horror stories about
kids giving “mouth hugs” during movies shown in classrooms with the lights off
in middle school. So we did a preemptive strike and invaded our daughter’s Iraq
without finding any WMDs, first. Instinct will tell you everything. Our daughter
is very smart. I’m glad we spoke to her when we did.

Deana:  It’s never to early.  At about the age of 12 she officially knew more than I did.  I am a virgin, so I still know nothing.  That’s my story and Im sticking to it.

Seriously though, kids start really early.  I have friends that are teachers and they tell me horror stories.  If you do not teach them, they will learn from someone else.  I dont really want my kids learning about one of the most beautiful acts from some kids who still picks his nose.  Taylor has been in a serious relationship with her BF for 3 years now.  He’s 16 and she is 17.  They are great kids. (Lance, stop reading here)  However, I am not stupid enough to think that they are not doing anything.  Not that, but something.  I believe that Lance and I have taught her to respect herself.  That’s important.


Question 2: What is your take on kids drinking? Provide them a place, or not at your house?

Lance: This may be hypocritical but I use the same philosophy as my parents. In my
house, you do not engage in illegal activity or anything that can hurt you or
me. Our teenager hasn’t shown any interest in the booze or the drugs. We had an
alcohol and drug talk with her at age 13 and 14 which consisted of my wife
backing a bus into our living room, throwing me under it, and running me over
with it time and time again. “Look what happened when Lance did this and that
and he has this and that and he’s crazy and blah blah blah”. It seemed to work.
Telling my kid that her dad was foolish souse as a teenager and younger man
showed us to be honest and straight-forward. She even asked questions. Yeah, my

Deana: Yeah, I did that.  I threw him under the bus.  Because I NEVER did anything like that.  Dont look at me like that, I am a good girl. Well, there was this one time….

We believe in honesty with our kids.  Not, over the top, spill it all out all over everything, but honesty.  I’m not going to lie.  We will not allow anything illegal.  Although I do believe the drinking age should be 18, it’s not.  Taylor never shows any interest in drugs or alcohol.  I wouldn’t want someone elses parents to provide either.  However,  I told Tay that I know that the day will come and she will have a drink or to.  Call me for a ride, I wont be mad.  I wont lecture.  I will be proud that she did the right thing.  I have faith in her.

You might not want to hear my answer when the youngest 2 get older.  They scare me….



Thanks for coming back and send in those questions!








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15 thoughts on “He said… She said… Post 7

  1. He said, she said … and me, i said your blog is very nice.

  2. You are right. It is better that kids learn about these things from their parents instead of just finding it out from all the wrong places. Still it is kinda uncomfortable. I remember my mom giving me ‘the talk’ when I was 13..uhhh was horrible and very embarrassing :S

  3. Great advice/insight. I have a 19 year old stepson, and we’ve been through all of those situations with him. However, it seems different this go round with a six year old daughter. I’m still going to be honest and up front with her, but feel a bit more protective. Lance, you made me laugh and scared me at the same time with “mouth hugs.” Oy! Look forward to next week!

  4. I think “The TALK” is less embarrassing if you start with small conversations early. By the tween (I hate that word) and teen years, they have already picked up a lot from friends and other kids.

    My daughter is nine. She knows what sex is. She has a good understanding (that is age appropriate – I didn’t pull out the Kama Sutra and talk about positions or anything extreme like that). We do talk about relationships, especially as she sees them (healthy and more often unhealthy) portrayed in the media or in life. We are pretty open about those conversations. I hope that openness will continue as she gets older.

    As for alcohol – my husband threw himself under the bus for that conversation. I’m pretty sure the one “and then I woke up in the hospital with a catheter” story was enough to scare anyone away from drinking.

  5. I agree that best way to deal with both topics is honest, age appropriate discussions.

  6. I’m re-reading these for Trifecta now, and I have to say that I agree with you both on everything. As a school social worker, I got a lot of these questions from parents. Start young–way younger than you think you need to. Keep it age-appropriate and give them only as much as they need to know. My 5 and 4 year olds know all about human reproduction. That’s the easy part of that discussion, I know. The respecting yourself thing comes gradually and will never stop. Sigh.

    Right on for the no illegal business in my house. Studies show, time and time again, that the kids whose parents let them drink end up faring far worse in the drink department than the kids whose parents told them, “hell no.” They may well be doing it anyway, but I ain’t signing off on it.

    Lovely family. xx

  7. Me and my ex brother in law took a more head-on approach with my stepson… when he was 14, we made him sit down and watch American Pie with his mother and watched him squirm, ha ha

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