MY THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT ARE AS FOLLOWS

My truth. My life.

Just a few notes

Pet Peeves:

I have been working at a vet for about 17 years now. Here are a few guidelines on how I have learned people should act.

1) Your scheduled appointment time is just a suggestion.  Feel free to ignore it and do as you please.  If you are not able to make your appointment please do not bother to call, Just don’t show up.  We love the suspense of trying to guess what you are going to do.  So as you can see, calling us with your intentions would just take the fun out of our day.

2) Do not put your pets on a leash or in a carrier.  Just open the door and let them run loose. We really enjoy the chaos of running around trying to chase your pet.  This is really fun when your pet is really sick and spreads the love germs, or when there is a dog aggressive animal in our lobby waiting to be seen.

3) Do not bring your previous pet history as we request. Calling the other animal hospitals gives us time to catch up with old friends and make new ones. Also, when you give us the information to call for please do not let us know when your pet is listed under a different name there. We really love a good challenge.

4)  Be sure to make sure we follow your breeders rules. Especially concerning anesthesia and vaccines. Our schooling and training really didn’t teach us a lot, so any extra guidance you can give is appreciated.

5)  If your cat is hissing or scared, please put your hands and face as close to his/her mouth as possible.  We know that your pet would never bite you and if they did, it would be our fault.

6) Please give your pets medication as you see fit. We only put the instructions on them because the label printer is cool.  We understand that when the problem doesn’t resolve it is our fault, not yours.

7) When giving a history on your pet, please be a vague as possible. The Dr. also likes a good guessing game and has the whole day to spend trying.

8) We are just kidding when we suggest you bring a urine or stool sample.  That’s gross! We will just get it when your pet relieves himself/herself on our lobby floor.

9) Please be sure to stay on your cellphone the whole visit. Handless headsets are preferred.  We love trying to figure out whether you are talking to us or the person on the phone.  Dont forget to call us back later and ask us all of the stuff we were trying to explain to you during your visit.

10) If your pet is sick, please wait a minimum of 3 days before you bring him in.  You will still need to make sure that you wait until 30 minutes before we close to even call us.  Before you do anything please consult Dr. Internet.  The internet knows much more than we do.

11)  Please wait until your pet tries to bite us before you tell us that your pet has always had to be muzzled in the past.  It keeps our reflexes sharp.  Besides, it is much easier to muzzle a pet after they are already worked up.

12)  Verbal abuse is always appreciated, if possible wait until our lobby is full of people.  Please be creative with your profanity. We all love to expand our vocabulary.

13)  Ignore the staff only signs. Please roam around as you please.  Stick your hands in all of the cages.  If you child is roaming around with you, we prefer them to be barefoot.

14)  Last but not least, ALWAYS complain about your bill.  We know our prices are too high.  In general we tend to be greedy and not care about your pet.  We recommend vaccines as a way to make money, not as a protection measure.  If we are able to waive a vaccine for you to drop off your pet for a routine procedure and your pet gets sick, Please let us pay for everything while you badmouth us to everyone you know.

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This was done for Theme Thursday

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37 thoughts on “Just a few notes

  1. Sounds like many of your pets’ owners are getting into the pet meds…

  2. People can be unbelievably stupid!

  3. Rh bien alors!!!! Tu continues à travailler? On ne t’a pas mise à la retraite forcée? (rire)

  4. Priceless. Send it to Animal Planet why don’t you. Had to read it aloud for my lovely bride. Was almost in tears. Share, share,share! Maybe could be the office holiday card. imho

  5. I need to print this out for our vet. I’m sure he and his staff would get a kick out it. Too funny!

  6. This is too funny. Probably less funny if you have to live it every day. But very funny if you are sitting in the comfort of your own home, with no crazy pet owners around, while you read it.

  7. Oh I am printing this out for my step daughter that works in vet clinic I am sure they will love it…going to fb it as well. Great one !

  8. Im sure she will love it! Thanks so much…..

  9. As a Vet Tech who can totally sympathise, I just wanted to point out one thing you forgot to mention which is that most veterinary clinics do not offer payment plans but don’t mind having to stop mid procedure because you told the receptionist you may not have enough money… then we have to wait around while you call everyone you know after your care credit application got denied… meanwhile, your pet is stuck in a cage and will possibly be held hostage until you can pay… maybe I just worked in a bad part of town? hahaha

    -Brittany
    http://jbranchohio.wordpress.com/

  10. During our three month ordeal with a kitty in kidney failure, our vet and techs were invaluable and have my utmost respect. I can’t see how any real pet lover could do any of those things to you, Deana. You should get a poo-flinging monkey for the reception area!

  11. These are all great. I especially got a kick out of #9. I suspect you have many out there who can empathize with these. In fact, some of them sound similar to my mom’s woes as a pediatric nurse. The stories she tells sound unreal sometimes, just as I’m sure some of your stories do. Thanks for the entertaining read 🙂

  12. Deana, I sent it to a friend in Sylva . She replied…

    I copied it and will take it with me when I am at the SAH for my 4 p.m. with the 21 dogs and 2 cats (one with a litter of 4 kittens and the other about to pop!) that are going to NJ to a wonderful adoption center tonight. SAH does the vet checks…bless them! And they will need a giggle to get them through!!! Love, V.
    I will forward any other comments. Love that post.

    Oh, and this

    …Hi Wy,

    That’s funny and all so true! Hate making a fool of myself laughing in my cubicle…

  13. I am so glad that I could make you laugh! That makes me happy. Thank you for sharing it for me!

  14. jennsomethingclever on said:

    Hilarious! I’m so glad you got in under the wire. As a person who has worked in dental offices, and spent time at the vet with my cats, I truly appreciate each and every one of these.

  15. Gee…I should try some of these things with my doctor.

  16. Pet mummies and daddies can be just as bad as people mummies and daddies, I suppose. :/

  17. This is funny. What isn’t funny is that I’m sure you’ve had all of these things happen.

  18. Brilliant! Love it! 🙂

  19. Ha! I used to work at a vet’s office, too, so I totally know what you mean. Some people!

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