MY THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT ARE AS FOLLOWS

My truth. My life.

Secret on the mantle

copyright-claire-fuller

 

 

Imagine you were me.

Battered and bruised on the inside,

While sharing a pristine smile on the outside.

**

Imagine you were me.

Your soul had been asphyxiated.

While wearing a mask for the world to see.

**

Imagine you were me.

Searching for your freedom,

While using endless discretion.

**

Imagine you were me.

Fighting for your life,

While planning your escape.

**

Imagine you were me.

Staring at the sculpture on the mantle,

While smiling for the first time.

**

Imagine you were me.

Wondering if anyone would ever know,

While brushing off the dust from his bones.

***************************************************************

Friday Fictioneers

friday-fictioneers

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

THE RULES:

  • Copy your URL to the Linkz collection. You’ll find the tab following the photo prompt. It’s the little white box to the left with the blue froggy guy. Click on it and follow directions. This is the best way to get the most reads and comments.
  • MAKE SURE YOUR LINK  IS SPECIFIC TO YOUR FLASH FICTION. (Should you find that you’ve made an error you can delete by clicking the little red ‘x’ that should appear under your icon. Then re-enter your URL. (If there’s no red x email me at Runtshell@aol.com. I can delete the wrong link for you).Thanks to Blogspot bloggers for disabling their  CAPTCHAs
  • Make note in your blog if you’d prefer not to have constructive criticism.

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65 thoughts on “Secret on the mantle

  1. The photo is perfect for this piece Deana, loved the 2nd stanza.

  2. I like this flow, Deana.

  3. well there’s a cautionary tale. hmmm. love it deana.

  4. Good work building sympathy and tension and then the ending… I wonder if Claire will ever look at her sculpture the same!

  5. Beautifully said … loved it !!!

  6. This is an awful story told in a beautiful way. Well done.

  7. Another great addition.

  8. This beautifully captures the essence of a certain period of my life…thank you!

  9. Reblogged this on One Starving Activist and commented:
    I could add a backstory of my own, but why…

  10. Wow.. hauntingly beautiful and thought provoking.

  11. I had to read it twice to get the entire picture of her battered struggle (or some other sort of struggle) and then her freedom at the end. It can be difficult to imagine what’s going on in someone else’s life.

    janet

  12. JackieP on said:

    Really nicely done! Wish I would have thought of that during my first marriage. ha!

  13. Unfortunately true for too many. Vivid emotion.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

  14. When I started reading I thought I was in the head of one of the subjects of the statue–surprise ending.

  15. Nice piece. There’s something about that last set of lines,

    “Imagine you were me.
    Wondering if anyone would ever know,
    While brushing off the dust from his bones”,

    that really intrigued me. It’s quite interesting to end the poem with words like those.

  16. Deana I can imagine it all. I do. On a daily basis. It tugs at my heart. My soul. And brings forth tears.

  17. Pingback: Neverending – Saturday Poetry Post « Lyrical Anarchy

  18. you take this reader deeper and deeper into you by the repetition of the imagine you were me line, until I’m feeling the feelings. This was nicely done.

  19. I love the poetic style and flow of this piece. Well done.

  20. a difficult place for anyone with so much healing to be done…your piece touches the heart. ❤

  21. Lovely stile and very strong poem. I can feel the the emotions you are describing very well sometimes.

  22. I love your words.. as always!! Finally getting some reading done today! I’ve been down all day girl!! …lovely piece honey!! ~ Jen

  23. Oooh! This picture has invoked such a lot of death this week. you and I went similar ways although in very different styles. I find that fascinating!

  24. Well done the last line is my favorite!
    I am Number 91

  25. Powerful and deep, Deana 🙂 Have you read mine?

  26. Interesting take on the prompt. I liked it!

  27. this was very good..

  28. that sounds like someone has been disposed of, and someone is about to take some steps forward. well done.

  29. Very nice. I hope she breaks out.

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