MY THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT ARE AS FOLLOWS

My truth. My life.

Our place

copyright-renee-homan-heath

I remember the first time we met.

You were jogging down the beach and tripped over a sandcastle

the moment you saw me.

***

I remember the first time I kissed you.

You threw me into the waves and pulled me quickly back into your arms

as your lips devoured mine.

***

I remember the first time we made love.

You planned a delectable dinner with wine and dessert

then you entangled your body in mine as we became one.

***

I remember the night you left me.

I returned to our beach and talked to you in the stars.

**************************************************************

This was done for Friday Fictioneers:

friday-fictioneers

 

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64 thoughts on “Our place

  1. a sensual story with a lot of heart…I loved it

  2. jasmine calyx on said:

    Oh wow, that ending is incredible!

  3. A lot said in a few words. Very well written

  4. my apologies to whoever i said was my favorite this week. this one is now my favorite. well done.

  5. ouch…hate when that happens… 😦
    i felt the pain.

  6. This is so full of love and then love lost.. Loved the way it was going until I read the last stanza.. Sad turn to such a beautiful love story!

  7. Very nicely done!

  8. Beautifully done.

  9. Lovely. Would I be correct in assuming that he left by way of death and that’s why she’s talking to him in the stars?

  10. lovely and passionate, sometimes I read one and think I wish I could have written it. This is one of those times.

  11. This is beautifully written. Thank you for sharing

  12. Hi Deana,
    An arc of love story, like a cupid’s arrow in flight. Great imagery. Ron

  13. this was such a lovely love story from start to finish.

  14. Beautiful story, beautifully written.

  15. Awesome writing. Loved the flow.

  16. Wonderful poetry, and a lovely melancholic end. Sounds like he left by dying. And the repetition of “I remember ” is so strong.

  17. Really touching and very beautiful piece. So good it defies writing a joke about it …

  18. You’ve told this story in such a lovely, understated yet powerful way. Very moving.

  19. met/kissed/love/left. The words that prove you’ve retold the quintessential love story using this setting. (Applause).

  20. This is so sweet, even in its sadness. She was lucky to have her one true love in her life. Not many people have that…

  21. Beautifully poignant with wonderful romance to boost. 🙂

  22. A very nice story ranks up there with one of the best this week. Well done.
    Tom

  23. Lovely story of true romance–unfortunately, a sad, but sensitively portrayed, ending.

  24. Powerful piece of writing, Deana. I am glad for the last line, I thought it would be something else.

  25. That’s amazing that you were able to fit an entire relationship into 100 words! I especially loved the last line.

  26. Powerful emotions here. Boy meets girl, loves her and leaves her.

  27. I like this vignette – something approaching a poem, perhaps, and full of love and imagery. I particularly like how specific you are about the events – the throwing into the waves in particular, is a novel image and really allows us to feel the passion and love.

  28. Deana,
    I loved this! Except for the sad ending, of course. Memories around the ocean and wave. What a wonderful story it made here. I liked the kissing one the best!

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