MY THOUGHTS ON THE SUBJECT ARE AS FOLLOWS

My truth. My life.

He said… She said… Post 3

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you , to all of the people who are helping to make this idea work!  Lance said that no one is going to want to read our ramblings.  I quickly told him he was wrong (as usual).

That, my friends is exactly why we should be doing this.  Sometimes it’s positively mind-blowing how right I am about everything.  But, I just can’t help it.

So here’s how this works…

You ask us questions.  Any questions.  I can be about love, relationships, sex , kids, life, death, and anything else.  Then, I will give you my answer (which will be correct) and Lance will give you his answer.  We are going to do 2 questions a week.  Email me your questions at deanaburson@yahoo.com or facebook me or direct message me on twitter.  We will give our original answers in the blog, then we need your participation.  I want to continue the discussion in the comment section.  Lance and I will respond to the comments as well as each other.

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Question 1 is from Kari:  You can find her here:  Twitter , Blog .  If you enjoy good writing, You need to check her out!

1)Are there couples you look up to? What do you respect or take from their marriages?

Lance:  Hmmmm. You know, this sounds bad but, not really. I mean my wife and I are in a very unique situation compared to other couples we know. Blended family and all that. The way we run our rowdy ranch only works with us. I can’t imagine anyone looking up to us and trying to copy what we do. I’m the last guy to give advice, like real advice, not internet column tongue in cheek kinda sorta advice. You know that guy in your family or set of friends who seems okay but there are car wrecks all around him even though he seems okay. That’s me, and my wife. We’ve met some awesome people online who seem to have things down. But you know, they’re on the internets. People with blogs are on the internets. They’re weirdos. Seriously, I think my wife and I take a little from our childhoods. Our parents don’t have prison records or reality shows, so they did pretty good jobs. But we also just parent and live our lives on love and instinct and pills and occasionally booze.

Deana: This is a tricky question.  I don’t think there are any couples that I look up to.  However, there are couples that I have a lot of respect for.    Every couple has problems.  (yes, even the ones that deny it.)  I guess if I had to look up to a couple it would be one that works to keep their relationship strong. One that lifts each other up and one that loves in every circumstance.  That being said, that kind of couple is hard to find.

I love my man.  Even though he can be a pain in the bottom, I still love him!

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Question 2 is from Becky:  You can find her here:  Twitter, Blog , Facebook . Well, what are you waiting for.  Check her out!

1)As parents, how do you handle situations when your parenting techniques are near opposites and one of yours is so obviously the best one? And how do I tell my husband to follow my lead since mine is the right way & would be more effective?  

Lance: well, this is hard to answer directly without knowing you two. My wife and I married six months after meeting. She had two girls then aged 12 & 3. I had one girl, then only 4. We observed each other parenting styles and talked about how to raise the kids once we blended families. But that was just observation and talk. If you had to label each of us as parents, I’m probably the dashing, daring, decisive leader with a square jaw and the command of a general where my wife is more “hey look ya’ll, my stories are on, hush!” I yell more, ask for more, and let my axniety get the best of me. I’m certain my children plot against, I mean talk about me behind my back as me being a mean old dad and whackjob. I think it’s important to talk to your husband and decide to a) always present a united front while the kids are around. If he wants to be firm and dish out discipline, wait til the kids are in another country, then pull him off to the side and say “you know ward, you were a little rough on the beav” in a non-ironic, non sexual euphemised way. and vice verse. If you want to drop the hammer on the rugrats, then after the kids are put to sleep with benadryl and duct taped, then you two talk about how awesome you kicked their tails into shape. I think having different parenting styles can be good. But you have to know how to good cop/bad cop your kids. My wife is more good cop. That’s cool. But you have to work together when you collar the skels, I mean parent the children.

Deana:  Lance and I agree to disagree, ALOT!  He is the type to get mad, yell and make smart quirky comments when he’s angry.  I, on the other hand, prefer to “talk” it out.  He is definitely the bad cop in this house.  Sometimes I feel like he yells out of anger instead of fixing the problem.  Dont get me wrong.  He is the best dad ever!  Our girls have SO MUCH respect for him.

I do have a bad habit of defending the girls.  I do it because sometimes I feel like he shouldnt be mad when he is.  I have a problem with thinking  “she’s only 8” or “she’s only 9”.  Then he yells at me and I yell back.  After a few minutes we realize that the girls have left the room and we move on.  We are dysfunctional that way.  Our kids know that we love them and they love us.  That makes our dysfunction okay, right?

To get to the truth of the matter.  I know that he should do things my way.  God made me the woman so that I could be right all the time.  Lance disagrees.  He’s wrong.

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19 thoughts on “He said… She said… Post 3

  1. Who you calling a weirdo?!!!! 🙂 Also perhaps you should check this again. The two answers from lance are the same here. Unless that is intentional.

  2. Its nice to see that my marriage appears to be somewhat normal, especially in the parenting/discipline department. We are still blending our family, and the agrees are happening more often than the disagrees now. That’s saying something, considering it hasn’t been a year since his boys moved in yet.

  3. This “blended” family – is that a starbucks thing I’m just not aware of?
    And regardless of Lance probably being right on both (I don’t have kids), this round has to go to Deanna , if only for her summation in the second answer.

  4. Sounds pretty ‘normal’ to me… He’s a little on the ‘noisy’ side, and she’s a little on the ‘I’ll teach you’ side… Yeah; sounds like a normal coupling here…! 😉
    Love your new pic, btw, Deana…
    BTW – I’d say he’s a keeper… 😉

  5. seeing as I can’t get past the weirdo blogger thing, I have to say Deana is right about everything, forever. weirdo my ass.

  6. I don’t look up to any other couples either. It’s easy to think others have it down pat, but I think marriage is a struggle – worth it – for everyone.

  7. I’m so enjoying these posts. You hit the nail on the head. No marriage is perfect and if they tell you it is, they aren’t being truthful because we all make mistakes.

    I’m usually more the disciplinarian but when my husband DOES get upset about something (though not in a constructive, fix it way sometimes), I go into a wee bit of defense of the children mode as well. Can’t help it.

  8. Oh Lordy. I’m the ‘heavy’ at our house. And I hate it. I actually prefer Scott’s more laid back style, but there are times when my kids only will listen to the drill sergeant

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