My truth. My life.

He said… She said… Post 2


Hi Everyone.  It’s that time again.  Time for a battle of the minds.  Well, My mind and Lance’s nonsense.

Here’s how this works…

You ask us questions.  Any questions.  I can be about love, relationships, sex , kids, life, death, and anything else.  Then, I will give you my answer (which will be correct) and Lance will give you his answer.  We are going to do 2 questions a week.  Email me your questions at or facebook me or direct message me on twitter.  We will give our original answers in the blog, then we need your participation.  I want to continue the discussion in the comment section.  Lance and I will respond to the comments as well as each other.


Question 1 comes from: Dave aka Lumdog.  You can find him here:  Blog and  Twitter .  If you don’t know him,  you should get to work on knowing him.

*As a dual blogger/writer household, do you feel competitive or do you collaborate, or both? (I think I would love being in this environment.)


It’s weird, but in a good way. I’m not a jealous person but I do get frustrated sometimes because while I’ve been writing on the internet since 2005 and fulltime on my blog, twitter, book of face, and websites since 2010, and my “success level” has been just above the person who write obituaries for people’s dogs in the local newspaper. They still have newspapers, right? My grandparents read them.
My wife is very supportive of my writing. I can’t complain. I’m more angsty, and quite frankly, high maintenance about my writing than she ever will be.
I think my wife and I are learning how to deal with my crazy ass, and find her corner of the internet where she can shine bright like a Rihanna diamond. It’s important to know that your significant other is there for support, not critique. If I write something that sucks, I don’t want to hear it from her. In fact, when I drop a crappy column or blog post or book o face status, I want to hear how awesome that was, so you know, lie to me. I will return the favor.
Collaborating on this blog feature is making me more relaxed and less competitive with my wife.
Deana:  Dont believe anything Lance said in the above paragraphs.  He is so full of it.  Or maybe its me that’s paranoid.  It worries me when I write something good. (or at least I think its good).  Sometimes I wish he would go over the top in telling me how great my stuff is (even when it sucks)  He is not the “shower you with compliments” kinda guy.  I knew this when I married him, so I don’t know why I expected this to be any different.  I know he gets frustrated sometimes when he’s writing his book and he can’t think of a word or place or whatever.  I know not to bother him with my stuff when he is working on his writing.
We write totally different kind of stuff.  He writes stories.  Great stories.  I write poetry and ramblings.
This is why we are doing He said/ She Said together.  So that it would bring us closer in our writing.
Question 2 is by Renee:  You can find her here:  TwitterBlogFacebook  You will adore her as much as I do.
* Mandatory gratuitous for parties larger than four?  Good or bad idea?  We have regular customers to my restaurant that spend $40 then tip $2
Lance:  In college, I waited tables and bartended. I got $2.10 an hour so the tips were how I was paying the light bill. But mandatory tips are wrong. First of all, it removes any motivation for the server to work that table well, because they know they’re guaranteed a tip. second, it’s unfair to the party being served because even if they get great service, they’re dictated how much to pay. Most people use credit cards now, so leaving extra tip is harder.

I’m against it.
Deana:  o.k.  I’m going to whisper this … Shhh.   I agree with Lance.  Everyone should tip at least 15%, but I don’t think it should be mandatory.  I have had some really good waitress’ that have gone over and beyond and they were tipped way over the normal amount.  I have also had pretty crappy waitress’ that haven’t deserved a tip.  Is it fair that they both get the same amount of tip.
I guess, there is no easy answer to this question.  I work as a front office supervisor in the vet clinic I work for.  I don’t get tipped there, but I still have to be nice to the clients and treat them well.  Our clients do let the Dr.’s know if they are pleased or unpleased with the way they are treated.  It wouldn’t be fair if we were all given the same remarks when “Robin” was hateful to a client and I bent over backwards for them.
I wish there was a way to make people understand how important it is to tip when you have good service.  Renee, where do you work?  I’m gonna come eat there and leave a good tip.  Well, I will make Lance pay it cause I need to get my nails done.  Hehe.
Let us know what you think?  Do you agree or disagree?
Thanks for playing!

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23 thoughts on “He said… She said… Post 2

  1. I find the second question interesting. I used to work in a pub as a teenager and would get most of my pocket money from Tips but I never expected it because we don’t have a culture of tipping. It is considered rude to expect it.

    • I just feel like if it’s expected it doesn’t give you any incentive to do your job well. But that can be applied to any job situation.

      • If you don’t do your job well you get grief and then the sack if you don’t shape up. You can make a lot in tips. But they aren’t demanded or expected either.

    • the way i was raised was you rewarded hard work. But when I worked as a bartender/waiter, I realzied people don’t see everything you’re doing. I just think tipping 15 to 20 regardless of the service is the best route

      • The thing is that is just paying for the service. Which you are technically doing when you buy the meal or drink in the first place.

  2. I agree on #2. I worked as a career waitress until my hearing got too bad to do it anymore. I never cared for mandatory gratuity either…except when I busted my butt on a large table or a party that consumes all of my time and tables and they leave me a really low tip. I know I’m a better waitress than that. That’s when the mandatory tip was appreciated. Only 2 of the restaurants I worked at enforced it, and that was only on the large parties that we used a separate room for.

    • I do agree that it should be mandatory for large parties. I just wish people understood how important it is to tip the waitstaff. Especially the ones that are deserving of it.

  3. I love Lance’s line “Collaborating on this blog feature is making me more relaxed and less competitive with my wife.” and Deana’s response “Dont believe anything Lance said in the above paragraphs. He is so full of it.”

    More relaxed… oh yeah.

  4. Having waited tbles, and being a vigorous supporter of bartenders worldwide, you have to go out of your way for me to leave lass than 20%…

  5. This is AWESOME. Now I have to go back and read the previous She said/He said post. My favorite line “so you know, lie to me. I will return the favor.” I can visualize how this is all working over at Chez Burson. You are both wonderful writers in unique, to each other, styles. Now I must think of a question!

    • please do. it works like this

      Deana: We have questions, write something, give it to me by tomorrow.

      Me: After I take out the trash, take one daughter to drums and the other to school, I’ll do it.

      Deana: no, do it now, and tweet it 47 times. Oh, and love you

      • Gina! I would love a question from you. Lance, really? Do you not realize that I control wether you sleep on the couch or bed tonight. Do you really wanna go there? BTW… Can you tweet this?!?

  6. I used to tend bar, and lived off of tips. I think a mandatory tip would benefit everyone, by ensuring some consistency of income. People still have to feed their kids, no matter how horrible they are. However, great service deserves extra, and that should also be allowed.

  7. I love all of these comments!

  8. Thanks for the discussion on mandatory tips!

    I am not a fan of mandatory tipping myself, and being in the business, I tend to overtip for good service. It just frustrates me for my servers when a table with a mom, dad, and 2 or 3 kids come in, run my help all over, leave food on the floor, dump a drink, ask 80 questions, expect the servers to fall all over themselves making them happy, (which they should), then pay their $4o tab and leave a buck or two. It isn’t just families either. Quite often one person of a large adult party will treat the rest, thinking their friends will leave the tip, too often the rest think the tip was already taken care of.

    And far as raising the wage for servers, most good servers will make well over the minimum wage they’d likely be paid if there was no tipping. The average wage in this area for servers is $2.13, I pay $3,35 because our prices are fairly low, so the percentage doesn’t quite equal the high dollar restaurant. Our average ticket for one is about $6, times 15% is 90 cents. Also, working for the tip gives more incentive to do an excellent job. A good server will build their own clientele as well.

    Deana, when you visit Indiana, I’ll send directions. 🙂

    • I believe that if you are treating a big party then you should know who is tipping. Unfortunatly some people are not very self aware.

      We also have to consider that bad service isnt always the wait staff’s fault. Something over or under cooked might be the chefs. Why should the wait staff have to suffer.

    • I will apologize for my kids in your restaurant in advance. especially the 8 year old who ask for a 55 gallon drum of ranch dressing.

      don’t worry, I’ll tip 30 percent at your place.

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