My truth. My life.

my depression

Overwhelming emotions cloud my thoughts.

spiraling deeper, deeper into the pit of my stomach.

Guilt is surrounding me lunging out through my words.

The more I speak, the more guilt comes to me.

It is a never-ending circle of hurt.

People pretend to care enough to ask me “whats wrong?”.

I shrug and say “nothing” with a forced smile.

The lie turns to more guilt.

Fighting the urge to drown myself in my bed beneath the blankets

gets harder and harder.

What can I do to move past this?

What can I do to heal?

Nothing.  It’s not really worth it.

Note:  This is not something I am going through at the moment.  I have dealt with a form of depression for as long as I remember.  I wanted to get these thoughts out on paper.


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8 thoughts on “my depression

  1. Just try to get out of it … we all face moments like these, but then, you do have to be strong and move ahead …

  2. “people pretend to care.” How often I tried to trick myself into believing that.

  3. I think that when we try to move “past” these feelings, they rise up like a tidal wave and drown us. I am so glad that you aren’t feeling like this now!

  4. Glad you’re not going through this now, D.

    I’ve been there too. It’s usually only well after those moments that it occurs to me we can’t move past them unless we deal *with* them, otherwise those tidal waves keep coming back in on us.

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