Growing pains and promises…
Today was a day of beginnings. As well as a day of realizations. The new beginnings are good for my girls and the realizations are not so good for me.
It all started about 5:15 this morning when my alarm went off. Lance and I got ready to go and then we woke up Carly and Taylor. We picked up Sean and we were headed to Winder to meet Lyla’s teacher at 7am. Lyla and her mother were meeting us there and Lyla was going to spend the rest of the day with us. We arrived a few minutes before them. Lance and I decided that we would go ahead and see who her teacher would be. We agreed that when Lyla go there we would let her see for herself, but we wanted to know. I turned to see Lance walking up to the 2nd grade class lists. I wasnt sure how to approach this topic with him, but it had to be done. I quietly said “Honey, Lyla is now in the 3rd grade.” I watched his face as a cloud of realizations flooded his thoughts. I knew what he was thinking, so I tried to change the subject. Lyla arrived and meeting her teacher went really well. I noticed that her text books were getting thicker and there was not any “kid” things hanging on the wall. However, I was satisfied when I saw the stack of Dr. Suess books.
Next on the agenda was meeting Carly’s teacher at 9am. We already knew who her teacher was going to be. The 6 of us walked into the elementary school. I have entered the doors of this school many times over the past years. First with Taylor, now with Carly. This is Carly’s second year at this school. I was handling everything fine until we walked past the kindergarten hall. We walked past it. That meant that she was not a kindergartener anymore. Her first grade room was different. There were not areas set up for centers. There was not a space in the front of the room for circle time. Carly is not a baby anymore.
After lunch it was time to visit Taylor’s school. Walking up to the door I lagged behind. I watched my 15-year-old daughter walking, smiling, and holding her boyfriends hand. I had a flashback…
10 years ago at this time, I was walking my beautiful, nervous baby girl into her prek class. She wanted to cry, she was so brave.
9 years ago at this time, I was helping my beautiful, nervous baby girl get on the bus(she insisted) to go to her first day of kindergarten.
4 years ago at this time, I was sending my beautiful, nervous baby girl to middle school.
1 year ago at this time, I was sending my beautiful, nervous baby girl to high school.
Today, I watched my mature, a little bit nervous, brilliant beautiful baby girl walk around to meet her 10th grade teachers. She knew her way around the huge high school. She knew the teachers. One of the teachers asked me “Are you Taylors mom?” when I said yes, he said “You have a terrific kid, you should be proud”. I smiled and said thank you. Inside I cried with joy. (could you imagine her face if I did break down and cry?) While visiting her classrooms we found out that she had been handpicked to have a joint world history and lit class. It was for the students with the highest test scores and best grades. Inside I cried with joy and pride.
Tonight she is going to her first high school party. Yes, parents will be there. Yes, I have known her friend for about 8 years. Still, I cant help but worry whats next.
I’m scared. I’m proud. I’m worried.